Hi,

I’m Jim and I’ve had to decide whether or not to come out to friends (I have) and family (I haven’t) about my sexual orientation. You see…I’m a straight male switch interested in all forms of bondage, some forms of sadism and masochism and a few aspects of dominance and submission. The switch part refers to my enjoyment of both top and bottom roles. Some people refer to bdsm as “the lifestyle.” For me it goes deeper and revolves around the key question of “would I give up kink for love?” Since my answer is “no”, I see kink as my orientation.

A lot of people struggle with whether to come out or not. There’s no right answer. I decided to come out after reading When Someone You Love Is Kinky by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. The most powerful aspects of that book are the letters people wrote to their loved ones about being kinky. Those letters gave me the strength to come out. Maybe writing or reading similar letters will help you.

Whether you’re gay or straight, male or female, kinky or vanilla, friend or family or any of the beautiful variations therein – you’re welcome here.