You have been my best friend since time immemorial

You have been my best friend since time immemorial. We have been through everything together, we have drifted apart and bounced back.

I didn’t understand a little while ago, why you couldn’t come out to me. You knew that i wasn’t homophobic and that at the very least i would be super excited (you know i love gay men lol you call me FagHag!) yet you couldnt tell me yourself and i found out via a blog on your website.

That hurt me a lot at the time, how could you not trust me to treat your secret or revelation with utmost discretion. You should have known i would stand by your side with your hand in mine and helped you tell the world.

Yet now i find myself standing in your shoes. I am a Ds lifestyler. I am loud and proud with everyone.. yet i can’t tell you. You who would love me anyway – i find myself holding this all in.

I am scared that the person i love most will fall back onto the old stereotypes of BDSM. Funny when you consider the fact that you are so anti-stereotype. but fear is in me.

I only hope that when we are face to face next that i will be able to take your hands and tell you Who I Am. That you smile at me and tell me i was being dumb not to tell You and that You always knew. The way i always knew my best bitch was a homosexual man.

i love you Matty. I am still Me. i hope you can see that when you look in my eyes after i say those words. I am more Me than i have ever been before.

‘I am Me, Matty. BDSM is Me. This Life is Beautiful and i hope you can embrace me again.’

Counting the moments till i see you again.
Me.